There’s a culinary hill I’m willing to die on, and it involves those crunchy intruders that restaurants insist on adding to perfectly good food: celery and onions.
Recently, my friends and I were discussing lobster rolls—a supposed delicacy of the Northeast—and discovered we shared a mutual disdain for celery-contaminated versions. This led me to recall a particularly disappointing experience.
I’d heard about a place claiming to serve “the best lobster roll in the Northeast.” Excited to try this legendary creation, I made the trip only to discover they’d committed the unforgivable act of mixing celery throughout their signature dish. I never returned.
This raises the question: Why do restaurants insist on this practice? Why must celery infiltrate lobster rolls, or onions invade perfectly good tuna?
Let’s approach this logically. If half the population enjoys these additions while the other half detests them, a pre-mixed approach immediately alienates 50% of potential repeat customers. And please, don’t suggest I “pick them out.” Once those flavors have permeated the dish, the damage is done.
The solution seems embarrassingly simple: prepare these dishes plainly and offer the mix-ins as options. How difficult would it be to keep chopped celery or onions ready to add upon request? This approach satisfies everyone—those who want their food uncontaminated by crunchy interlopers and those who, for whatever reason, enjoy that texture.
So I guess I’ll never experience that supposedly legendary lobster roll. But honestly, how could it possibly be “the best” when it contains celery? Yuck!
Just my opinion.